they are growing and she is getting bigger. now she turns from me to meet the gaze of her sister or her father or another giggling child. she is nearly 9 months and her little teeth have started to nip when she feeds. today i wonder whether nursing is coming to an end. the thought is so very hard. the intimacy that we share, that bond is so very close. the feel of the rush of the milk when it comes, what her grandma calls the 'zinging in your breasts'. the feeding of the babe, the quiet ectasy, the warm blanket that envelops the universe, reaching up to the stars and around every planet and lonely meteorite until every last thing is so soft and calm that angels fall from heaven to join us. in these tiny moments i could live forever and all thoughts of deadlines and rushing and obligations fade into obscurity, blinded by the light of the here and the now, me and my child, hearts beating, eyes meeting. this is the beauty of life. life giving life.